Chad Smith

They say it takes a lifetime for an empire to fall (to quote the Boston hardcore band The Suicide File). Really, as we found out Saturday, it only takes as long as it takes a defensive end to come off tackle unscathed and wollop your wunderkind, Christlike, saintly, promise-keeping, doesn’t-just-walk-but-runs-for-touchdowns-on-water quarteback.

I was in the newsroom last Saturday evening, feeling good that the Gators were manhandling Kentucky in the third quarter and were about to put more points on the board. Then, all of a sudden, on a third down, the world stopped. I was looking at my monitor when a sports writer says something like, Whoa, did you see that hit?

“What?” I asked and looked up. “Is that Tim?”

Then the clock started ticking on the longest five minutes in the 103-year history of University of Florida football. I’ve seen big hits, but Jesus, I’ve never seen anything like that. At least not to a Florida player. Let alone the greatest Florida player ever. Let alone (probably) the greatest college football player ever.

I was anxious about my (and the Gators’) trip to Death Valley on Oct. 10 before The Hit. Now I have no idea what to think. It will be interesting to see how Louisiana State stacks up against Georgia between the hedges. No matter, it will be a whole other ball game, a whole other world when the Gators, the No. 1 team in the universe, take to the field at Tiger Stadium. And if No. 15 isn’t suiting up, I don’t know if I’ll want to be in that world. I hope the players don’t feel the same way.

So, to offer some levity and In honor of the bye week, below is a list I sent to the aforementioned sports writer before the season started to convince him that the Gators had meaningful games on the schedule. Some weeks were easier defending than others.

Sept. 5 – Charleston Southern – First game of Tebow’s last year; favored by 73 points. That’s for real.

Sept. 12 – Troy – They’ve knocked off SEC teams on the road in the past few years. Upset alert.

Sept. 19 – Tennessee – Lane Kiffin is a shithead who needs to be taken down a burnt-orange peg or two.

Sept. 26 – at Kentucky – Haven’t lost this game since, I don’t know, ever. Or at least 1986.

Oct. 10 – at LSU – Against a real team.

Oct. 17 – Arkansas – Dana Carvey is performing at Gator Growl the night before, so maybe Church Lady shows up.

Oct. 24 – at Mississippi State – Florida has fared horribly against Mississippi teams lately.

Oct. 31 – Georgia – Meyer is still fuming about the college football version of bombing Pearl Harbor.

Nov. 7 – Vanderbilt – Tebow’s last SEC home game.

Nov. 14 – at South Carolina – Spurrier.

Nov. 21 – Florida International – The best Florida team we play this season.

Nov. 28 – Florida State – Tebow’s last game – the place will go absolutely bananas; a Silver Alert for Bobby Bowden’s coaching prowess will go out over the PA.